Successful negotiation of a new buyer/vendor relationship requires thorough preparation and an excellent presentation. Before you can present, you must be certain you have your negotiating partner’s undivided attention. Offering coffee or soft drinks sets a relaxed and attentive stage; negotiating over lunch can be destructive and counterproductive – however much we might like the idea of the three-martini lunch.

During the presentation itself, avoid unrelated conversation. Organize your presentation in eight steps:

1). What you are offering?
2). What do you need from your partner?
3). Why is this mutually beneficial?
4). What benefits are they receiving other than what may be obvious?
5). What would you like in return?
6). Why is this arrangement in their best interests, short and long term?
7). What facts or assumptions support your proposal?
8). What statement can you make that reinforces your past, present, and continuing relationship or suggests how a positive beginning will create the foundation for an ongoing, mutually beneficial relationship?

PowerPoint™ Presentation:

• Maximum eight pages
• Each page with no more than four bullets
• Each bullet includes eight words
• Include a graph or photo page
• Don’t read from your slides but use it as a guideline for your discussion

Here are a few other important factors to keep in mind while making your presentation.

A) Are your tone and posture appropriate?
B) Are your expectations realistic?
C) Is there another supplier that could be your competition, and are they aware of this?
D) How assertive do you need to be at this stage? (Recall past situations if there have been any.)

While you are presenting, make some careful observations:

A) Are your negotiating partners attentive?
B) What can you tell from their expressions and body language?
C) Are notes being taken? On what points?
D) Have you captured their interest?
E) Do they appear excited about the offer?
F) What verbal responses are you receiving?

You may not receive, nor should you expect, a final decision on the first presentation. There are factors which they may need to research such as those magic words again: availability, revenue yield, yield management, room allocations, deposit requirements, and perhaps, competitive proposals.

If a decision is not being rendered, you should make the move to schedule a follow-up visit or conversation at a specific time and date. Maintaining some control over the closing is as important as setting the proper mood and posture at the opening.

As a Mortgage Broker every conversation you have with another person (with an objective in mind) should be viewed as a presentation.

Whether you are building a relationship that will lead to a loan application, getting a Realtor to send you referrals, persuading someone to your point of view or getting someone to say yes to dinner and a movie you are giving a presentation. In fact, every time you try to convince anybody of anything – you are making a presentation. It could be on the phone, in person, one-on-one or in a group. If you counted them, you might actually be making hundreds of presentations each day!

For most of us, our lives are basically a series of interactions with the people we come into contact with everyday. Because most of us can’t choose our co-workers, colleagues or customers, we must rely on these (random) interactions to move us closer to our personal and career objectives.

The quality of our “presentation” is one of the secrets to success. The “smarter” we are, the more success we will have. Here are six essential principle of making “smarter presentations”:

1. Know your audience. Steven Covey says, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood”. Dale Carnegie said, “Take the time to find out what the person wants and spend the rest of the time helping them get it”. You can study personality types and sales techniques all you want, but the secret to knowing your audience is simple. Before you begin any presentation, focus your attention on learning the audiences’ objectives and then take the time to show them how they can achieve it. In the process getting to know your audience, the “Law of Reciprocity” will allow you to ask for what you need in order to help them get what they want.

“Smart presentations” are customized to fit the audience, not the objective. Remember that the success of the presentation will be determined by the person or people that make up your audience. Find out what they want and adjust your presentation accordingly so you can show them how you can help them get it.

2. Why is more important than how. The most effective way to persuade people to your point of view is to focus on “why” they should do what you want them to do. Persuading and selling are not the same as training. When persuading a borrower to give us a loan application our focus should be on “why” they should choose us versus what is involved in getting a loan approved and funded. People are just like us. They are driven by basic “wants and needs”. The most successful Mortgage Brokers tailor their presentations to focus on learning the borrowers “wants and needs”. Once they have succeeded in their persuasion, then “how” becomes part of the implementation step.

3. Keep it simple. Sometimes we tend to make presentations that are more complicated than they need to be. It is more important to make sure the person we are persuading understands our presentation. When we complicate our presentation, we tend to confuse the people we are presenting to. This is a problem because a confused mind says no or maybe. Where possible you want to show them what you are telling them for four reasons.

- You will appear more prepared and more professional
- You will appear more knowledgeable
- You will be more credible (People believe what they read)
- Your presentation will be easier to understand

4. Be the emotional choice. Many Mortgage Brokers feel that they must compete on rate and fees in order to convert prospects into loan applications. The reality is that more important than rates and fees are whether prospects can trust you to guide them through the maze of mortgage options and help them make the best decision for themselves and their families.

Most Mortgage Brokers give logical presentations and stay focused on rates, fees, payments and terms. The problem with a logical presentation is that it is easy for the borrower to assume that the only difference between one Mortgage Broker and another are their rates and fees and that the best way to get a mortgage is get three bids and make a decision. A logical presentation actually encourages shopping.

The smart presenter understands that people buy based on emotion and later justify their decision with logic. As a result, smart presenters’ get people emotionally involved by finding out

- What the prospect wants
- Why the prospect wants it
- How they are going to feel when they get it

What is the primary emotional benefit the person you are persuading is going to get as a result of their interaction with you? Find out. In the process, you will improve rapport and grow the trust you need to become the emotional choice. People like to do business with people who are sincerely interested in understanding their needs and helping them get it.

5. Control the process, not the prospect. Many of you have been told to “get control” of your prospect. The problem with trying to control a prospect is that it is manipulative and easy for a prospect to see through. Attempts to control your prospect will yield resistance to your efforts that will lead to your failure to persuade. Instead, focus on controlling the process.
In any conversation, the person that asked the last question is in control of the conversation. In a sales situation, the person who is asking the questions is in control of the process. You can’t make people do what they don’t want to do. Asking questions will not only allow you to maintain control of the presentation, it will allow you to uncover valuable information that you can use to better serve the prospect.

6. Be prepared. Smart presenters are prepared for all scenarios. There is no substitute for product knowledge. If you are not up to speed on product knowledge, you must seek that knowledge now. It only takes a few minutes of effort each day to grow in knowledge and confidence. Become an expert in your field. Your ability to instantly service the prospects need for information, will determine how deep you go into the sales process. The deeper you go into the sales process, the greater the likelihood you will make the sale.

Smart presenters are confident they have the answers or can get them easily. They are prepared to offer alternatives. Failure to service your prospects need for information could provoke them to seek the information from another source. In effect, when you can’t or wont serve the borrowers need for information, you are teaching them to go down the road and ask someone else for that information. In the end, the Mortgage Broker who best services the borrowers need for information, will be the Mortgage Broker that earns that borrowers business.

Are you “Selling Smarter”? Commit today to apply these principles of giving “smarter presentations”. In the process you will persuade a much higher percentage of the people you come into contact with. These same people will also be more inclined to do business with you again or to refer others to you so that you can help them get what they want too.

To live moment to moment of a stress free life in this modern, fast paced, strenuous life indeed sounds impossible. However, it can be accomplished. One needs to take the opportunity to pause for a short moment and get into the mode of that thoughtless state. And doing this suddenly, there is a chance for that energy to open up for that thoughtless moment. And by practice even that small moment spent will take you to that unknown dimension of non doing and continues to add-up to greater heights of feelings.

Live in this moment

You often hear people complaining or throwing remarks that the year has passed so fast and they regret of not having achieved much. But when you attain such a stress-free state which is the focus of the present moment, things go slow. Not that the time is moving slow or fast as what people complain, time is actually moving at its own pace, neither a second slower nor a second faster.

But when one is so busy thinking and is concerned about the past and future, he will not be in tune with the natural movement of the existence thus, gets disillusioned with the movement of time. But we are so used to timing everything that we have forgotten about life itself. And we must realize that this fulfilling moment is beyond time or timeless.

Get to this present moment where time has stopped and you will feel that refreshing stress-free moment. Get away from the world and enter into this thoughtless moment.

Doing against silencing

Man has gone into the habit of doing things. The workaholics are controlling the world. People who do nothing are scoffed at and asked to do at least something. And Man has begun to feel guilty and out of society if he is not doing anything. Therefore, naturally anguish takes over the moment a free moment comes.

But look at it closely, the strain of life is caused more by doing things rather than remaining quiet. Even when one is quiet, one’s thoughts are engaged in something. Even when one is asleep, one is still doing something such as dreaming.

Stop and feel the moment

To live in this moment is fulfilling. Lord Buddha said ‘Live in this moment’. Living here-now is fulfilling. Despite the screeching and honking of the cars or the jarring of musical machines, the mind can be silent.

So, stop the next time when you are in the midst of doing something and contemplate on this moment, But do it suddenly. Doing it suddenly will get the mind caught unawares and it takes sometime for it to renew its thoughts again. So at this moment of gap just be silent and enjoy it. So, the next time you remember it, jerk yourself and get into that moment of silence. Do at least half a minute each time for at least six times a day. That adds up to three minutes a day.

If one can do more often, the better it is. By and by you will become more aware of that thoughtless moment and you have attained the synchronicity of that thoughtless, stress free state.

A Pro-Domme, also called a Dominatrix or Mistress, is a professional who engages in BDSM activity with clients. These clients take on the submissive role (or “bottom”) during a session. Typical activities engaged in may include: dominance and submission (D/s), sadomasochism (S&M), fetish play, bondage, and discipline. While BDSM activities are highly charged both emotionally and sexually, sex is not included in the services of a Pro-Domme.

Many clients present themselves to a prospective Mistress in an unfavorable way, which results in them not being given that precious opportunity to serve. Sometimes clients can find a Pro-Domme who will session with them, only to discover that the so called “Dominatrix” is inexperienced or lacking in skills. As the saying goes, “a good Domme is hard to find.” This difficulty in finding a Mistress often occurs due to the submissive’s naivete or because he possesses a “Dive Bar Attitude.” However, by following six simple steps when approaching a Pro-Domme, it is highly unlikely that a prospective client will not be given an opportunity to serve a professional.

What is a “Dive Bar Attitude?”

Many prospective clients present themselves to a Pro-Domme inappropriately because they possess what I’ve termed a “Dive Bar Attitude.” When a person goes to a dive bar, they do so with certain expectations. They expect to be served. They expect to have their thirst quenched. They expect to get drunk without paying a lot of money. They expect that, other than their payment, they will not be required to provide anything to the proprietor. This is the WRONG ATTITUDE when approaching a Pro-Domme.

Think of approaching a prospective Mistress as having more in common with an outing to a new, fashionable club. There’s preliminary legwork that must be done to prepare (such as making a reservation, or learning what the dress code entails). The establishment wants a certain type of clientele because the club’s clientele is a reflection of the club. And because many people want to experience the club, the proprietor can be picky about who gets in. Once inside the club, the visitor’s main expectation is to simply experience the club. The goal is not cheap drunkenness. Instead, it’s to experience the whole ambiance of the club, to relish the very experience of it, and to enjoy drinks that are expertly prepared. It’s a premium experience that is being sought, and it’s not bargain priced.

Knowing this, how should a client tailor their approach to a prospective Mistress?
As a wise person once said, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” Pro-Dommes are approached by numerous prospective clients. Many of these men fall victim to the Mistress’ delete button. Because so many who approach us are time wasters who regard us as masturbation fodder, we have no choice but to discard the e-mails of those who exhibit insensitivity or lack of social awareness. If you properly introduce yourself in that first communication (presumably an e-mail), you will stand out from the crowd and you will please the Domme.

So, keeping in mind the exclusive nature of sessioning with the best Pro-Dommes, and knowing that you must make your very best impression in order to earn the opportunity to serve a Mistress, what protocol should a prospective submissive follow?

Step 1: Do Your Research

You most likely found the Mistress through her website, so read it! Read every word; don’t just perv on her pics. Her website is a reflection of who she is. It will tell you her interests, her likes and dislikes, and (most importantly) how she likes things done. It is basically a virtual version of herself. It is her domain. I repeat, read every word.

Step 2: Exhibit Self-Awareness & Honesty

Someone who is self-aware makes a good client. Know what you want, and know what you are capable of delivering. There is a big difference between fantasy and reality. It may make a good fantasy to envision life as my 24-7 slave, a slave that will do everything I say without question. But please don’t waste my time with your fantasy unless you actually: 1) truly want that, and 2) can provide that. If you have a day job as an attorney or a CFO or an engineer, I don’t think you’re going to be giving that up anytime soon. Don’t waste my time with your masturbatory fantasy. Just keep it to yourself, please. What I would like to know is what you can truly offer me. If what you can offer is a client who would like to session with me every couple of weeks… perhaps because you enjoy bottoming watersports (feel free to insert your favorite fetish here) but don’t have a woman in your life who is into that, THEN SAY THAT! That type of communication shows self-awareness and, hey, it’s honest. Honesty makes a Mistress happy.

Step 3: Don’t Be Creepy

No, of course you’re not creepy, not in your regular life. You’re normal. You have a normal job, a normal family, normal friends, and normal hobbies and interests. Most likely, you probably even have a pretty normal sex life. Please don’t take this opportunity while communicating with a Pro-Domme to suddenly turn into a strange incarnation of yourself. Don’t be a troll, and please don’t harass the Mistress. Approach her as you would any business professional.

Step 4: Be Respectful

Address the Pro-Domme how she wants to be addressed. Some Mistresses want to be called Mistress or Goddess or another title. Other Mistresses prefer NOT to be addressed that way by strangers. If you have read the Mistress’ website completely, she most likely specified how she would like to be addressed.

Send a photo if the Mistress requested you do so, but don’t send graphically sexual photos. If she wants these, she will request them when she is ready for them.

Step 5: Begin Building a Connection

Don’t give empty compliments. Most Dominatrices have an extremely good bullshit meter. Do show her that you are interested in her specifically. What is it about her that attracted you? Begin to also share some personal information about yourself: a physical description, career, location, marital status, whether you have a car (that can be important when considering service submissives, especially). Also, be sure to include the times you are most often available for sessions and, of course, your contact information.

Step 6: Present Yourself Favorably

In your e-mail, put your best foot forward, but also be yourself- the most respectful version of yourself. Every Mistress will have personal preferences regarding the type of submissive with whom she most enjoys playing. You can’t be who you aren’t, so be who you are. Don’t grovel and don’t beg. This generally makes most Dominatrices want to vomit. Try approaching her as a man with respect for himself and respect for all women.

Conclusion

By following the above six steps when approaching a Pro-Domme, you will demonstrate to the Mistress that you are sincere, respectful, and would make an enjoyable, interesting submissive. You will find your success rate with the most desirable Pro-Dommes will increase. You will also find those first few sessions with your new Mistress will be even more enjoyable for both of you.

These days, with ultrasound scanning being done during the pregnancy, many moms-to-be already know whether their baby’s going to be a boy or a girl. This makes it easier to plan the nursery color scheme, buy linen, furnishings and baby items in the right color early enough so that when you come home with the baby, everything is ready and organized for you. However, if you’re a family member or friend of the parents of a baby boy, you can choose from a wide range of gifting ideas and pick the one that fits your budget, the age of the baby and the parents’ lifestyle.

In an earlier era, the gifts that were given to baby boys and baby girls were completely different especially as they grew older. However, nowadays with gender-equality and gender stereotyping being issues that concern all of us, the gifts that are given to babies are more gender neutral and largely from the point of view of practicality, fun, mental stimulation and less to do with the sex of the child. However, some gifting conventions still hold good, hence choosing a gift for a baby boy can veer more towards stuffed toy animals, board-books or cloth-books, stroller blankets, sleeping bags and snuggle-sacks or comforters and towels in shades like blue, gray, white, navy, brown or red.

Clothing and Apparel: Tiny baseball outfits, caps, socks and mittens, sleeping-suits, bibs, soft booties, towels and blankets, bloomers and leggings, warm sweaters, scarves and coats, personalized towels, stroller-sheets and blankets, jump-suits and baby-cocoons with caps, tiny swimming trunks, leg-warmers and socks etc are some of the presents you can get for a baby boy.

Toys and games: The first year of a baby’s life is the most important in terms of brain-growth and mental development. Hence, a wide range of early-years toys, books, puzzles, games and activity sets are available. These are great for baby boys’ presents and you’ll provide hours of fun and entertainment for both parents and baby. Musical DVDs, story-telling DVDs, rhymes and dance music etc can provide fun and entertainment for the whole family.

Furniture: Cribs, small armoires or chest-of-drawers, lightweight plastic rocking chairs, table-and-chair sets, baby-sized blackboards and easels, play huts and tents, walkers, flip-stools and clothes-racks and hangers are all very useful presents which can last throughout childhood.

Other gifts may include gift-vouchers to various large baby-product stores in town, miniature golf, tennis or baseball sets, pop-up books, cloth-books, bath accessories like plastic or rubber toys, luxury keepsakes like silver spoons and drinking mugs, albums, personalized sleep-wear, monogrammed towels and bibs etc.

Whatever the present you choose for a baby boy, ensure that it’s manufactured from pure, non-allergenic and baby-safe materials, which are non-toxic and don’t chip, scratch or fray easily and don’t have sharp edges.